Covetworthy » swagger

Reading is Mental

sfashionista — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:00:00 +0000

Earlier this year, I had to end my relationship…with television. After making sweet love to my Tivo all winter, I decided to break it off with my remote and go back to the books. I went literal, literally.

I have been an avid reader all my life, but for too long saying those words was cowpie. Living in NYC, I exhibited all the symptoms of a real reader – my four room apartment had but one television, on which I watched Seinfeld and the occasional rented video. I finished a book a week MINIMUM and frequented lit lovefests. Now my home has two more TVs than bedrooms, all but one have DVRs and my two-year-old can wield the remote with the best of ‘em. It’s just wrong.

My problem is/was that I had gotten out of the habit of reading. My TV and magazine addictions and their lure of good/bad, drama/suspense/conclusion wrapped in 22 minutes or 2 pages really jacked me up. Read the titles and you know the full story.

I took my book project seriously. I knew that, because I was rusty, picking up Cormac McCarthy’s The Road was probably going to be abandoned at the driveway. So I created categories, from the Brain-Candiest to “The Impressives.” Herewith, my report card (categories in italics, actual works in bold:

Chicky but Not Chick Lit. (Suffering through 2 hours of rom-com onscreen is agonizing enough. I couldn’t bear giving my nights and nail appointments over to it in print.) I read Valley of the Dolls. What a fun romp. Must have a dinner party with the girls to watch the DVD. Maribou slippers required. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan and Shanghai Girls both by Lisa See. Enjoyable easy reads that made me treasure my friendships.
True Classic. As I do once a year, I read Their Eyes Were Watching God, and as I do once a year, loved it. I’m reading Wuthering Heights, which I haven’t done since 1989. The only one not completed, since other books keep cutting the line. Case in point…
Parenting. I read Nurture Shock, and it was indeed a shock. This book blew my mind. I have a lunch date-slash-discussion about it later this week and I cannot wait. This book rocked the San Andreas fault of my parenting ideals, and the aftershocks keep coming.
The Impressives: Outliers. Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. The End of Overeating – also a mind-blower. Another look at how the food industry has coopted and irrevocably altered the way, the amount and the quality of we eat.

So I give myself an A- for taking on and almost completing the challenge (damn you, Wuthering!!) I’m starting it up again for winter. Want to read together? Here are my new categories, books yet to be selected:

Something sentimental, a story that will remind me how precious and fleeting this all is. Love Story perhaps?
Biography – I’m leaning towards Jackie O, probably because I just saw a doc about the Kennedys that got me all hyped
An underappreciated gem
A new voice. I read Uwen Akpan’s Say You’re One of Them last year and was reminded how delicious a new discovery can be.
Domestic bliss – I’ll be home cooking and entertaining guests from now until January. I sure as shit better figure out how to make it pleasurable and presentable.

Happy reading!
Sxxoo

What Luxury Is, and what it’s not

sfashionista — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:37:40 +0000

I just stayed at a five-star resort for a couple of days by myself last week, just a little recharge. (Because everyone knows that when Mama’s happy, everybody’s happy.) And while it was luxurious to be sure, the things I enjoyed the most were all things I could replicate at home.

It was billowing white sheets, lovingly turned down. Each pillow, doughy and fluffed to within an inch of its life. Seventy perfect degrees. A wooden desk, beckoning me to sit down and get down to the business of writing. A nightstand with a glass and bottled water (also in a GLASS, mind you – no screw top, no ribbed plasticana.) Everything in its place, thoughtfully arranged just so. So why do I not seek out this respite en mi casa, when, everything I just described, I have at home?

Because, like most other consumers, I need to put out an APB for my definition of luxury. It’s been seized, hijacked by high end retailers and brands alike. In fact, when I think the word luxury, the images that pop into my head are grand opulent estates, acres of perfectly-manicured green, the swish of women sauntering around in designer gowns, champagne glasses clinking. (Damn, sounds like my luxury is the set of Dynasty…)

But my idea with swagger today is: Luxury Need Not Be Glamorous. I may not have everything I want and how I want it. But when I recognize I have all I need and it’s all in order, that’s when I feel the most luxurious.

Look, I’m no frugalista; I hate this damn recession as much as the next chick and I fall prey to occasional label lust. No, I’m advocating a “pause before purchase” program for another reason. We all need to mind our motivation here. Overdoing anything in the cause of style is the antithesis of luxurious. All this “more” has brought us less. Less creativity. Less individuality. Excess does not equal success.

Having a closet full of “nothing to wear” is so much less luxurious than having a tight mix of all the right pieces. Now that’s a complete closet. Besides, “she who looks good all the time” beats the Chanel out of “she who dies with the most shoes.”

What I know…

sfashionista — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:31:53 +0000

So as excited as I was about launching this series on Swagger, I haven’t been able to post to it. A strange, unforeseeable, unbelievable event has happened to a dear friend and has completely taken me off my Covetworthy game. In fact, it’s rocked me to my core.

This person is not just a dear friend, but a dear sisterfriend, someone that I have known for almost 15 years. And to me, true friendship years are like dog years. So that’s enough giggles, gaffes, men, mishaps, career changes, cocktails, crushes, breakups, breakdowns and breakthroughs to fill 105 trips around the sun.

And so it’s with this on my heart and in my mind that I submit the first item for my Swagger Hall of Fame: being and having a Real Friend. (And you thought this was going to be just about Daniel Craig, hot bags and cool shoes…)

So do a quick inventory. If you’ve got one Real Friend, you’re blessed. If you’ve got more than one, cherish that, protect that, celebrate that. Right now. It could be gone or irrevocably altered in the blink of the eye.

Swagger Defined

sfashionista — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:03:44 +0000

So, for the first post in this series on Swagger, let’s start with the definition.

Swagger (SWAG-uhr): Noun.

It’s a FEELING: the ability to remain above it all, focused. Keeping your head about you when all else is going to hell in a handbag. It’s believing and acting like the chaos dumped at your heels was your stepping stone to a greater and higher place.

It’s a FORM OF CURRENCY: yet unlike most monetary units, it isn’t subject to the peaks and valleys, whims and whimsies of the global marketplace. You can’t buy with it, but it can buy you lots…respect, loyalty, and power, to name a few. At home and in the home. Abroad, as a broad, among the broads.

It’s a POWER POSITION: the corner office of cool. That DESIRED place we all strive for. It’s knowing what you’re worth and commanding full price, down to the last penny, pound or Euro.

It’s a CONSCIOUSNESS: Being fully aware of where you stand, who you stand with, who you can’t stand and what you won’t stand for.

It’s a MYSTIQUE: Choosing when, where, what and how many secrets to share. Chicks with swagger manage their magic well. They may live their lives as an open book, but they keep the juiciest parts password-protected.

It’s a LOOK: Ultimate comfort in one’s one skin, whether that skin is faux or fur, nude-colored or au naturale. You’re aware that fashion’s favorite new hue is violet, but when you rock it, rest assured that the word “shrinking” never enters anyone’s mind.

It’s a SKILL: It’s being bold enough to step up to the plate, to admit one’s missteps, and most importantly, to step aside when the situation requires.

So now you know why it’s covetworthy.

Know someone with swagger? Share this with them.

Swagger that Matters

sfashionista — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:01:31 +0000

It’s no new news that President Obama and the First Lady were named to Vanity Fair’s International Best Dressed List. So let me step out on a little limb here. Miss Michelle deserved it. Him? Eh.

Lest you add me to his growing list of haters, I assure that I am not. I’m an early supporter, financial and otherwise. I stumped for him. A “Yes We Can”-uttering, clever-campaign-tshirts-buying, Change-We-Can-Believe-In-cotton-totebag-carrying devotee. I find his brand of leadership as refreshing as mint lemonade. I just can’t say that I find him particularly *well-dressed.*

Exhibit A.
His standard navy suit + white shirt + patriotically hued neckwear + flag pin uniform.
Me: Yawn.

Exhibit B.
His vacation look.
Me: No words, just brows furrowed in concern.

You can fill that big silence there with me shaking my head. If I had magic powers for one day, erasing the above image of him in those belted joints would damn near be my first order of business. (Do I spy a crease?!? Lord, help us all.)

You see, what VF failed to pinpoint is what really landed him on that list. There’s no je ne sais quoi about it – I know exactly what it is. In a word, it’s his swagger. His confidence, his comfort in his own skin, his ability to be all that and encourage others to do the same.

But isn’t there more to it than that? What makes swagger so covetworthy is how it manages to be exceedingly prevalent, yet it’s a rare find. It’s like this: the hot handbag of the moment is out there for anyone to carry, but not just anyone can carry it off. For Mr. Obama, he seemed to summon up every positive and powerful attribute within himself at just the precise moment in history. And he made it look effortless. That is swagger. More importantly, that’s swagger that matters.

So…how should we define it? Does everyone have it but many know not how to tap it? Starting in October, I’m launching a month-long series on the topic of swagger. I want to explore the following:

Defining the undefinable – what it is, and what it’s not
The main players with swagger: who’s got it, who’s getting it, whose is swag-gone for good
Why it matters so much and when it matters most
Can it be faked, boosted, bettered?

Lastly, I strive to develop a list of the top people, places, products and concepts with it. A SWAGGER HALL OF FAME, if you will. Your input on this is encouraged, for this list will not be just for me, but for all of us to reference, to enjoy, and from which to seek inspiration.

Who’s with me?
SWK xxoo