Covetworthy

I have a little secret. I design women’s lingerie (www.lavande-swk.com) and yet my own top drawer has been woefully abandoned. My unmentionables have become just that. Not. Worth. Mentioning.

Admittedly, this isn’t something that’s important to most. Some people live by a mission statement. Or it might be crucial to make a final statement. For me, it’s all about the Understatement. (And right about now, mine is the sound of crickets chirping in overgrown fields.)

I never thought this would happen. But two babies in two years can wreak serious havoc on a girl’s mojo, ya know? So now, bottoms bounce around with no tops. Once-doted-upon lace frillies (pre-bump) nestle next to well-worn Hanky Pankys (mid-bump.) Spanx sidle up to Agent Provocateur. We recently had a weekend away from the kids and, whereas I used to plan my vacation boudoir ensembles in advance, this time I just stashed a couple fresh pairs in the bag and prayed that this would be a lights-off situation. Pathetic.

What I know is that keeping a tight lingerie wardrobe requires maintenance. (Just like missing a few days at the gym won’t hurt, but skip a year and see what happens to your ass. No, seriously, go to a mirror and look at your ass.)

So I’m airing the proverbial dirty drawers to make this promise: I am heretofore undergoing an aggressive underwear overhaul.

1. I PLEDGE to purge – anything that doesn’t inspire has got to go.
2. I PLEDGE to buy things that match. Seems redundant but some things just must be said. (And THAT goes without saying.)
3. I PLEDGE not to make purchases from catalogs – that’s cheating. I will summon up the ovarios to walk into a lingerie department or boutique, and engage the services of a sales chick to fetch what I need, regardless if she’s enviably fit or heartbreakingly geriatric.

And finally…,
4. I PLEDGE to wear everything that I buy. No saving and no second-guessing.

Stay tuned for the updates, uploads and the uplifting…

Today is Monday, August 10. Ummm, August…TENTH?!? What? Rewind – am I the only one wondering how/if/when I squandered June and July? To paraphrase Stevie, I never dreamed I’d LOSE a summer.

So with just four precious weeks left, I’m determined to eek out every last drip of the season’s bliss, and that’s got me all nostalgic on how I found joy in the simplicities of summers gone by:

Bare feet squishing through damp grass.

Sandals. Halters. Short shorts. Repeat.

Running, with no thought of cardio, body parts, empty calories from the night before or how many minutes before moving on to the elliptical. Just running because that’s how you get to Point B.

The breathless, giggly exhilaration upon arriving at Point B.

Enduring the pain and boredom of getting your hair braided, but giddy at the sight of the finished product, all tricked out with fly beads.

Learning (albeit, the hard way) how not to lose an eye while turning your head with the suddenly deadly new ‘do.

Jellies sandals. $5. No brand name required.

That perfect age: too old for dolls, too young for lip gloss. When it was all about hanging with your girls, jumping rope, riding on the handlebars and Miss Mary Mack all dressed in black.

Strawberry popsicles, the ORIGINAL lip stain. (Suck it, MAC.)

The days when stepping over cracks, not splitting poles and kissing dropped food up to the sky offered all the protection you would ever need.

Hours stretching on for days, weeks as long as months and a Labor Day that was practically in the next millennium.

Oh, summmmmmmer. 2 sweet + 2 last = 4 ever. Let’s make a pact to make the most of what’s left of it!

(What have I missed? Please share some of your summer simplicities with me…)

I started this blog as my personal fashionista manifesto. As a personal shopper and lingerie designer, a former buyer and fashion director and overall consumerella, I live this stuff. (Much more on my crazy and crazy blessed life in future posts…)

If there’s one thing I pride myself on (besides my shoes), it’s my deeply-ingrained Southern hospitality. I was taught to make guests feel welcome, and there’s no better way to do that than by offering a little gift. So for now until we meet again, here is my virtual welcome gift for you: A Wish.

I wish you found money: absent-mindedly stashed in the pockets of coats and jeans, or tucked covertly in the zipper compartments of purses you were about to give to Goodwill.

I wish you sales in all their glorious varieties: sample, hidden, online only, end of season, half-yearly and half off. I wish you a virtual avalanche of stock in your sizes and no lines at checkout.

I wish you parking space, trunk space and closet space.

I wish you Manolo style at Mossimo prices.

I wish you freedom from indecision, bad decision, and worst of all, buyer’s remorse.

I wish you good hair days, flawless skin and chic flats to prowl the stores like your personal catwalk. (It’s more rewarding to shop when you look like you already have it all.)

In short, I wish you the shopping equivalent of good karma.

But when you have this, remember that it is a gift. Do not boast arrogantly of your newfound riches to fellow shoppers. There, but for the grace of Gucci, go you.